worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
