Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
