Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize