It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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