I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
