I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
