i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
