Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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