you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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