She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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