U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
