The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
bring money and cleavage
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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