Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
