it hurts more in the daytime
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
