The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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