Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
