Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
