just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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