The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
