Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
