He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My Sexting was not on an AP level
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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