Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
