i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
