she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
