there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
