Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
