Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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