Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
