we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize