"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
