Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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