please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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