You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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