garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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