Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
