We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
