Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
