Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
