dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Text me some of your sweat
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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