We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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