I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
