If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
