So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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