maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
