Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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