Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
