whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize