i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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