that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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