Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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