How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
