Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
