I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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