I hope mine doesn't look like that
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
