Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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