I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
