i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
