Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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