Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
