i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize