If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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