It's like God shit irony all over that family
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
