I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
